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"Listen, I am casting out demons and performing cures today and tomorrow, and on the third day I finish my work. Yet today, tomorrow, and the next day I must be on my way, because it is impossible for a prophet to be killed outside of Jerusalem." Jerusalem, Jerudalem, the city that kills the prophets and stones those who are sent to it! Luke 13: 32-34
At last night's Sunday evening Taize service, we used the devotion known as the Stations of the Cross--as we are doing all during Lent. Last night, we spent time around John Seeley's depictions of the first two stations and prayed the scripture and prayers for those two stations as well. The First Station is Jesus is Condemned to Death. The Second Station is Jesus Takes Up His Cross. As I sat in the quiet of the church surrounded by candlelight and companions on the Way, I was struck by how the first two stations illustrate a basic fact about human life. Over and over again, we are met with an external challenge in life. When met with this challenge, we always have a choice about how we respond.
Sometimes the challenge is not too hard---a change of plans, a broken toilet, a missed call. Yet, for all of us, some time in life, the challenge can be very hard. Take, for instance, a medical crisis. You are awaiting test results. The call comes. You are given a diagnosis of cancer. That's a challenge. A challenge with a capital C. It can feel like you are condemned to death. An outside authority has given you news that changes your life forever and may end your life as well. Once you have recovered from the shock and taken in the external news, then the real inner work begins. How am I going to deal with this mortal challenge?
Do I have the surgery? What treatment do I choose? Do I share this news with family and friends? With my church community? Your scale of vulnerability is off the charts. Where do you go? For me, I go to the Garden of Gethsemane with Jesus. I kneel next to him as he asks God if this cup could pass from Him. I want this cup to pass from me. In the stillness and silence, I feel his warm body next to mine. His muscles are tense. There is a unsettled feeling in the pit of his stomach too. Then, he breathes out and his body relaxes. I hear him say, "Not my will, but Yours." And I know--it's time to face this challenge the best I know how.
I make the appointment for surgery. The date is set. I don't know what the days after surgery will bring--but, in the Garden with Jesus, this I know....that, unlike Jesus, I am not called to do this alone. God is surely with me. And I want my friends and family that I love to be with me as well. I want to live, laugh, and love in the midst of this crisis. I yearn to live fully even as death is a constant companion. I desperately want to choose life in the midst of mortal challenge. I want to choose life more than I ever have in my life.
Over the years, I have found this to be the essence of the Cross. I have learned it through personal experience. I have also been fortified again and again by family and friends who have underscored this truth by the example of their own lives--choosing life in the midst of death. Opening their our lives and being vulnerable in our suffering teaches us all what it is to live.
It is not that we are visited with challenges in life that is the issue. That is a fact of human existence. What is the more interesting and compelling and essential question is this: How do we respond to the challenge? God chooses to gather us under God's wing as a hen gathers her brood. So we too gather in community to see the challenge through and to help one another live into our life-giving choices.
Text: Luke 13:31-35
Pondering: What would be yoru greatest challenge in life? How would you respond? What choices would you make?
In Christ,
The Rev. Martha N. Macgill
Memorial Episcopal Church
email: news@memorialepiscopal.org
phone: 410-669-0220
Please visit Memorial Episcopal Church on the web
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